


Mistakes are Instantaneous, Forgiveness is a Process

by suns_out_sleeps_in_ramblings



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beelzebub is a good boy, Demons are Bad At Feelings, Dysfunctional Family, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, Pining, Running Away, Slow Burn, Spoilers, Time Loop, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:56:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22423699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suns_out_sleeps_in_ramblings/pseuds/suns_out_sleeps_in_ramblings
Summary: The air was too stagnant and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. Your throat was clenching shut and you felt a cold sweat break out. You could vaguely hear one of them call your name, but it sounds so fuzzy that can’t discern who called out to you.It happened too fast, one of the brothers put a hand on your shoulder and you just...reacted.I need to get away from them. All of them.
Relationships: Beelzebub (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Beelzebub/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 205





	1. Effugere

**Author's Note:**

> MAJOR SPOILERS UP TO CHAPTER 16
> 
> LIKE I'M NOT KIDDING I'M GOING OVER A LOT OF IMPORTANT STUFF!!!
> 
> Canon has never stopped me before but let’s make these bois S U F F E R
> 
> I am basically spoiling all of the major events up to chapter 16 so if you haven’t already found out what happens or just don’t want to know what happens just yet then leave and come back when you’ve finished chapter 16.
> 
> Enjoy my poor attempt at some big-time family drama let's go!

You couldn’t stand it anymore, why didn't you just run back to your timeline like you were supposed to? Barbatos told you not to interact with anyone in the past and yet you did just that, and now the "you" that was originally in this timeline vanished right before everyone's eyes only to find you standing right behind them. Who even knows how much you've screwed up your own timeline? You still had to get back to help release Belphegor from Lord Diavolo!

But, you couldn't just abandon everyone, not with how earnestly Mammon was trying to save your nearly lifeless past self and how this much more aggressive Belphegor was preparing to strike you down a second time in a matter of minutes.

It took this timeline's Diavolo and Barbatos making a surprise entrance right as you finished explaining to everyone about Lilith's true fate to finally get everyone into higher spirits. Everyone except for you.

You had a sneaking suspicion that things were only going to get weirder once you heard Lucifer call you Lilith not once, but twice and hug you. It almost felt wrong having Lucifer hugging you with such love and relief on his face, and the others piling onto you only made your claustrophobia skyrocket higher and higher. But you remained there. Locked in the embrace of the six brother's you've come to know as family throughout your short stint in the Devildom.

Seriously, why didn't you just run back to the door when you had the chance?!

The reveal took everyone by surprise but no one took it harder than you. You quickly noticed how the brothers began to change their behaviors around you. But the ones to change themselves the most were definitely Lucifer, Beelzebub, and Belphegor. Lucifer was notably softer around you to the point you thought he switched places with one of his brothers again. You purposefully avoided the eldest only to run smack into Beel and Belphie. You once again noticed that these two were acting strangely. Beel had always been a complete sweetheart to you and owed you more than he could ever give back to you, but now his actions held a thinly-veiled aspect of guilt and pity to them. And Belphegor? To be honest, you still trust him about as far as you can throw him, but ever since this happened, you can tell that something is battling inside of him, trying to hide his disdain for humans fighting over the revelation of you being a distant descendant of his dead sister, and his actions reflected that.

At the very least he wasn't trying to attack you anymore, your insistence at having one of the other brothers, most often Beelzebub, with you when interacting with the seventh-born demon proved to be a boon, as eventually he began to calm down enough to talk to you. You once again saw that hint of petty smart-ass that he showed you back when you rescued him the first time and escaped to Purgatory Hall alongside Beel.

You felt bad for them, for all of the brothers really. Lilith meant so much to them and to find out that she had a descendant who just so happened to be you must have been an utterly indescribable feeling of relief to the brothers.

But just because you are her distant descendant does not mean you are her exactly. A fact that all of the brothers are having trouble with in their own ways.

It was a rash decision. But when Lucifer again lessened his punishment of you when you pulled a prank with Satan, a prank specifically planned by you to anger and provoke the eldest brother into punishing you like he does his brothers, something broke in you. 

_It’s like he’s punishing his little sister._

His voice as he continued to lecture you and Satan slowly faded until the only thing you could hear was your own heartbeat, thrumming away in your ears. 

_Am I just a replacement to them now?_

Deafening and rising in speed, it felt like you could feel every ounce of blood that pumped through your veins. 

_Do they no longer see me for who I am?_

**Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Ba-bump.**

_Do they just see me as a chance to redeem themselves to Lilith?_

The air was too stagnant and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. Your throat was clenching shut and you felt a cold sweat break out. You could vaguely hear one of them call your name, but it sounds so fuzzy that can’t discern who called out to you.

It happened too fast, one of the brothers put a hand on your shoulder and you just...reacted.

_I need to get away from them. All of them._

You shot up and bolted out of the House of Lamentation, the concerned voices of the brothers calling out to you deaf in your ears. You followed every instinct that told you to just keep running and running until you physically couldn’t run anymore. You had no idea where you were but it didn’t matter. You heard yourself begin to cough as you tried to catch your breath. Your throat burned in what could only count as hellfire as you fell to the ground and cried into the dirt. You fisted your hair in anger and screamed into the pitch black of Devildom’s night.

You couldn’t think of who to curse out for how things had turned out. Diavolo for revealing your heritage? Lucifer for choosing you for the program? Fate for being a dick? Do you even attempt to curse out Lilith for being your ancestor? Or was it better to curse out your own heart for giving it so willingly to a bunch of demons in the first place? If you had just kept your guard up as you meant to in the first few days of moving to the Devildom then you wouldn’t be crying over this.

But then, if you had stayed apprehensive towards everyone, you wouldn’t have all the memories you made here; You wouldn’t have the late-night anime and gaming sessions with Levi, the beauty sessions with Asmo, reading and learning magic with Satan, Mammon’s hilariously bad money-making schemes, the small glimpses of Lucifer’s kindness, the sassy cat-and-mouse quips with Belphegor, and midnight food runs with Beel.

You let yourself fall against the tree you braced yourself against as your crying was reduced to sniffles and sobs before you began to quietly laugh. You thought that you were the one who always told the brothers not to keep living in the past. To let the mistakes of the past stay in the past and move on with the world to honor the lives of those who passed, and yet here you were. Crying over something you had literally no possible control over, letting it consume you and twist your heart into the throes of despair.

“MC?” You turned your head to the familiar voice and came face to face with the demon who sent you back into the past in the first place.

“Barbatos?”


	2. Ultimatum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Ultimatum**
> 
> Definitions of ultimatum  
> Noun
> 
> a final demand or statement of terms, the rejection of which will result in retaliation or a breakdown in relations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> forgive me, Father, for I am back on my bullshit
> 
> Things are only going to get worse before they get better.
> 
> Strap in, kiddies.

“Why were you crying? Did something happen to you while you were out?” Barbatos had brought you back to Diavolo's manor after finding you. He was currently cooking you some of the food he remembered you enjoying during the excursion where you made your pact with Asmodeus. You were currently seated at bar stools behind the counter of the kitchen as you watched Barbatos expertly prepare a small dinner as you fiddled with a mug of chamomile tea.

“...It’s the brothers.” A dejected sigh escaped you as you thought back to how you basically ran away from home in an effort to clear your head of all the confusion swirling and twisting itself in your gut.

“You mean Lucifer and the others? Have they been behaving strangely? ”

“Ever since Diavolo revealed my true heritage as Lilith’s distant descendant, they’ve been treating me differently. They try to hide it but they suck at acting subtle so it’s very obvious for some of them that they think of me as if I’m Lilith herself.” The thought of the brothers attempting to replace you fills you with both an unbridled rage and unfathomable sadness. You are no stranger to wishing that you could get some closure with some of your long-dead relatives, and these brothers have been stewing in their own hang-ups about how their baby sister was cast down and killed for doing the most human thing you can think of, falling in love. Add onto that they incited a full-fledged rebellion over Lilith's right to love a human only to see her die right before their eyes.

“I mean for shit’s sake, the first thing Lucifer did once he found out was to call me Lilith not once, but twice and then HUG me! Lucifer and hug usually don’t exist in the same sentence unless the word never separates them.” There was no doubt in your mind that you felt immense grief for the eldest despite all he has put you through. He lived with the knowledge that he not only did he sell his newly damned soul and eternal servitude to someone he previously saw as a mortal enemy, but he had to live with trying to navigate his new status as a Ruler of Hell and unlearning everything he had ever thought he knew from the Celestial Realm at the same as his brothers, yet he was the only one besides Barbatos and Lord Diavolo who knew of Lilith's true fate. He hid his grief behind a steel mask and bore the responsibility of his brothers and his own shifts into the Avatars of Sin you knew them to be.

Lucifer may be a huge dick, but he's still a man who loves his family more than anything in all of the three realms, and that now includes you too.

“I’m such an idiot…” Your thoughts briefly flashed back to Belphegor's wicked laughter as he choked the life out of you, how happy he seemed to finally get even a fraction of his hatred and revenge against the beings who he has blamed for countless years on the death of his little sister. You couldn't deny that you were still terrified of Belphegor, but you also couldn't totally blame him either. He simply saw an opportunity and took it. You wanted to forgive him eventually, but that will take time and effort from everyone.

A part of you briefly wonders what the others think of the situation you now all face. Sure, Belphie is their brother and they love him, but how long will it take for everyone to be able to relax around him? You know for a fact that Beelzebub will be the quickest to do so since he and Belphie are so close to one another. You highly doubt that Mammon will let you be alone with the Avatar of Sloth anytime soon, given how he reacted to your "death". It felt bittersweet to see Mammon break down like he did that night in the solace of your room, just the two of you. Yet it felt so satisfying to finally let everything you had been holding back out in one giant crying session with your best friend and assigned guardian.

You quickly took another sip of the tea and refocused your attention back to the demonic butler.

“I was only meant to find out about how he managed to escape from his confinement without all the brother’s combined consent, I wasn’t meant to mess things up this badly.” You ran a hand through your hair and let out another sigh. Mammon and the others had always said you were far too gutsy and reckless, and you agreed with them. But you didn't think you could, or would, ever screw up this badly.

“Is it truly wise for you to disclose this information to me, my lady? It is not as though you and I have a particularly strong bond with one another.” You don't blame Barbatos for keeping his guard up around you. Though you could do no physical damage to him, the millennia upon millennia he has spent serving under the next Demon King has no doubt led him to trust very little but his own power. But you have never approached any of these demons as enemies, and what you need right now is for him to just be a friend and listen to you.

“The only one I could trust with all of this is you, Barbatos.” A strange expression overtook the normally composed butler. Shock? Surprise? Disbelief? A strange mix of the three before he actually smiled. You could tell it was a genuine one at that since he shook his head before meeting your eyes.

“I appreciate your trust in me, my lady. It is quite humbling to hear such sentiment from someone like yourself.” It was true that you didn't really often get the chance to interact with Barbatos since he was Diavolo's personal butler, but you figured that if anyone was going to understand this alternate timeline nonsense, then it was the one person who could control time itself.

“Is it possible for me to stay here for the night? I don’t think I can go back to the house just yet.” Just as Barbatos was about to speak, you heard a familiar song begin to blare from your D.D.D, one you immediately recognized as Mammon’s ringtone. You gave the butler a weary look of _“Do I answer or no?”_ to which he nodded. You quietly sighed before swiping and answering.

“Mammon?”

“WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU???!!!! EVERYONE’S WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU!!!! YOU GOTTA GET YOUR ASS BACK TO THE HOUSE BEFORE LUCIFER AND SATAN KILL EACH OTHER!” You recoiled back at Mammon’s screaming into the phone and winced, a sentiment Barbatos shared since even the trained butler frowned at the phone like he was frowning at Mammon himself.

“Can you get everyone together? I want everyone to hear this and I don’t want to repeat myself another six times.” You could hear Mammon mumble something about ignoring his question but complied and gathered his brothers before yelling at them to shut up.

“Okay, everyone’s here.” You gave Barbatos another weary look but knew what you had to do. You currently held pacts with 5/7 of the brothers. If you need to, you could force their compliance if they got too rowdy.

Well, here goes nothing.

“First things first, I’m safe. So you guys don’t have to worry about my safety.”

_Deep breath. In, and out. Repeat as needed._

“Lucifer, Satan, I want you two to quit fighting with each other, neither of you was responsible for my abrupt leaving, so don’t blame each other anymore.” You assume that the first and fourth-born brothers were in the background since you can hear the mumblings of their hesitant apologies to each other. You quietly sigh before schooling your expression and leveling your tone.

“But I’m not coming back to the house yet.” Immediately you hear everyone yelling their protests. You unconsciously growled into the phone before you snapped at them. **“Enough! Be quiet for a second and let me talk!”** You didn’t have a pact yet with Lucifer and Belphegor, and yet the other end of the line fell completely silent. That must have been because this was the first time you raised your voice to them. You were normally a somewhat soft-spoken individual, at least compared to the brothers. You drew in a breath before exhaling, even you could tell that they could hear your breath shuddering as you fought back tears and continued.

“I’m not coming back to the house until you all realize that I am not Lilith. I know you miss her, and knowing that I’m her descendant must have been a big relief to you guys. But that doesn’t mean that I am her substitute, and frankly I am insulted that you all attempted to treat me any differently because of it.” You could only imagine what the brothers were feeling right now, how painful it must be to keep twisting the knife with every word you spoke to them. But people don't learn until they experience the consequences of their actions. Demons are no different. 

“So I’m giving you a choice.” You swear that you could hear a pin drop on the other side of the line.

“I will stay where I am to think things over for the next couple of days, but if you can all agree to forget about this descendant nonsense and go back to treating me how you did before we all found out, then I will come back to the House of Lamentation.” You continually glanced towards Barbatos as you talked to the brothers. His reassuring nods gave you the confidence to keep up the conversation, to stand up to them and let them know everything you have been feeling.

“I like the way you guys treated me before. I like the idea of being Asmo’s dress-up doll, Mammon’s partner-in-crime, Levi’s co-op player, Beel’s workout partner, Lucifer’s little human troublemaker, Satan’s reading buddy, and Belphegor’s budding friend before I could ever think of being Lilith’s descendant.” You had to hold back and bite your tongue, while you did think of the boys as your family and home away from home, there was one who you wanted to be so much more to you.

Beelzebub. The sweetheart sixth-born brother and Avatar of Gluttony had stolen your heart back during the first incident in the underground tomb with Luke. Even though you knew that Luke and Beel could take a hit against Lucifer, you still couldn’t stand the idea of either of them being hurt. So you placed yourself between them and Lucifer’s rage, you didn’t regret any of it, and you certainly didn’t regret making a pact with Beel and spending the night with him holding the adorable ginger’s hand. 

Despite your rather obvious crush on Beel, you never said anything to him. You simply took his invitations for sharing food and filming his workouts along with the occasional massive bear hugs when he was really happy and let things stay that way. Too afraid to risk losing a good friend when you had so little to work with besides Lord Diavolo, Barbatos, the other residents of the house and the members of Purgatory Hall. You couldn’t risk making Beel hate you when it felt like the entire Devildom wanted to tear into your soul, and based on what the brothers told you early on, that’s exactly what every demon and unsavory character wanted to do to you.

Your admiration for him only grew as time passed, and you knew in your heart that you loved him when the original event of releasing Belphegor happened. His heartfelt appreciation to you saving his twin, his gorgeous smile as he hugged Belphie for the first time in who knows how long and how he saved you and Belphegor from Lucifer’s coming wrath solidified his own special spot in your heart. The way he was so gentle with you even when he dragged you away and how he apologized for getting you roped into their family issues, he was just so kind and sweet despite being a demon and the Avatar of Gluttony. 

But that wasn't the Beel you were dealing with here. In this timeline, you were never stolen away with Belphegor as Beel dragged you two off to escape from the House of Lamentation. You never saw Beel's elated smile as he crushed his younger twin in a devasting bear hug as Belphegor begged him to stop embarrassing him in front of you. You never crashed in Luke's room only for Diavolo and Barbatos to drag him kicking and screaming and throw him back into a prison cell.

That also means that you never had the chance to truly apologize to everyone for keeping the secret of your alliance with Belphegor, to explain to Mammon and Levi that their pacts with you didn't have anything to do with Belphegor. Or that Lucifer never got to talk, _really talk,_ with his brothers about Lilith's fate. It was all just glossed over in exchange for everyone's elation about your heritage. It seemed like such a half-assed solution for all the trouble you went through the first time around.

You really did love the brothers, and you could only imagine how hard this might hit them when you put your cards on the table once and for all.

“If it turns out that you can’t handle it, then I will leave the exchange program, return to the human world early, and we will never see each other again. I don’t like the idea of punishing you guys, but this needs to be done. I’ll be waiting for your answer in a few days. Goodbye.” 

**Click!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I made it worse!
> 
> I deeply apologize for making everyone wait on the second part but college royally kicks my ass and yet I continue on. I promise I have stuff ready I just need to sit down and focus on it between my assignments along with every new fic that captures my attention but yeah.
> 
> Thank you all for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> I know I'm updating this after the "season" is over and we are waiting for the next part of the story to come out, but I will continue to write until this finishes, no matter what happens in canon.
> 
> Though I will say I am eternally screaming at chapters 19/20 for the very obvious reasons. No spoilers this time, though! To all the players who still have to catch up, have fun and suffer with the rest of us!


End file.
